Warm Mid-Summer greetings to you all
The hummingbird in some shamanic traditions represents the power to take an impossible journey. As small as she is, she migrates distances that seem unimaginable, and always seeks the sweetness, the nectar of life.
I'm finding myself deeply need of her wisdom, guidance and protection in these challenging days.
This pandemic and the resulting political divides and polarization are changing us, not necessarily for the good, in my opinion.
I'm calling on each of us, though, to recognize that we are NOT powerless.
That, just like the hummingbird, we have the capacity to take an impossible journey that has the potential to change each of our lives and therefore initiate the change we wish to see in the world.
I have very strong opinions about what I think is "right" and "wrong" in the world...,but one of the most heartbreaking and disturbing things to me at this moment is the hate speech- the inability to disagree without being disagreeable (at best), hurtful, literally and figuratively, at worst.
Lately, it also feels like a deflection, an avoidance or even a deep privilege to "agree to disagree" or to be able to opt out of a challenging conversation.
This feels deeply unsatisfying and divisive to me.
How do I speak my truth with clarity, while being curious about others and their opinions?
How to be kind when under the perpetual sense of "threat"?
This seems to be a skill we are all in need of practicing.
What seems sorely lacking in conversations of late is civility and respect for another's basic humanity. Perhaps, as unfamiliar and uncomfortable as it may be, rather than reflexly censoring, dismissing, hating and name calling, our inquiry could be something like "Can you tell me how/why you believe this/feel this way?" or "Do you have evidence to back this up and if so, can you share it please so I can learn?"
It is unacceptable in my opinion to behave unkindly, even, or perhaps especially, when we disagree.
Learning how to communicate skillfully about deeply personal and divisive topics MUST occur for any good healing work to get done.
Otherwise we have simply agreed to an impasse and nothing will change.
I believe that each and every one of us needs to do some serious soul searching work-for the benefit of us all.
"Hatred never ceases by hatred, but by love alone is healed. This is an ancient and eternal law"...says Buddhist wisdom....
We could all take a breath, a moment to consider this.
I know that we are all exhausted, short tempered, afraid and afraid of being afraid. I will go on record to say that I believe that the solution, as radical and impossible as it may seem, is to work to ensure that everybody's needs get met.
To work together so that we connect as fragile humans, more aware of our commonality than of our differences. To try to create a better world that respects and cares about all of us.
It sounds impossible, yet Marshall Rosenberg, therapist and author of Non-Violent Communication, believes it is possible...and I want to believe it too.
His 4 step process is to;
1) Observe what is happening, without evaluation or judgment;
2) to notice how you FEEL (not think) about what happened, and
3) let that lead you to what you really need.
It is only with all this information, he says, that we can make a skillful request (4).
The clearer we are in our request, the more likely our needs will be met. If you are like me, a kind, thoughtful request is more do-able, or easy to consider, than one that is demanding and demeaning. I need lots of practice here too...
The big challenges that may arise are to identify what we are feeling, as most of us are much clearer about what we think (left brain, masculine paradigm) than what we feel ( right brain, feminine paradigm) and what we actually DO NOT need/want, rather than what we DO need/want.
Rosenberg suggests that whenever you or someone else complains, blames or judges, it is a sign that some need or needs are not being met.
It is a sign that something is missing.
The question then is are we brave/patient/kind enough to find out what?
It would behoove us all to start to consider what we DO need/want instead of only focusing on what we don't.
Then we have skillful actionable possibilities for change.
We can also learn to hold others accountable for their actions without shaming or blaming-this is a big one too!
I'm inviting all of us to practice speaking to ourself and others with respect, civility and curiosity.
It is tricky and by no means do I suggest it to be easy, but if we are not paying attention with honest awareness, we may find ourselves guilty of the same thing we are complaining about...i.e being rude back when someone is rude to you...
I have to continually remind myself that the words Listen and Silent are spelled with the same letters...
I know I always need to listen more and talk less; to be more curious than afraid....you too?
Let's agree to not fuel the fires of divisiveness, for the good of all of us.
Choose to be a beginner rather than an expert, always aware that "there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy" ( from Hamlet I think?)
And remember that there is a really important reason all this is called PRACTICE.😍
Another important reason to work on containing/taming/understanding the fear, anger and all other strong emotions and reactivity that these times evoke is simply that it is detrimental to your immune system. This matters more than ever in this pandemic.
It is impossible to heal when ensnared in survival mode and fearfulness.
Whenever there is a threat, real or imagined, physiologically, resources are redirected AWAY from anything that does not allow you to literally escape from the "tiger" chasing you. This includes digestion, hormonal/endocrine systems, immunity and the cardiovascular system.
Sadly the autonomic nervous system has not been upgraded from caveman times and we are still wired for survival, not happiness!
These times seem to be triggering primal fear, a very deep and real energetic toll, which can go unnoticed in the overwhelm. We have an innate negativity bias when under threat, and this is on full display these days.
While we can all understand the fear around the virus and divisiveness in the world, consider that this unchecked reactivity and survival mentality actually has a detrimental effect.
In fact, stress is known to be both inflammatory and depressing so it seems sensible to diminish anything that negatively affects our ability to stay well.
Reducing reactivity, and diminishing stress is key.
Remember that stress is a RESPONSE.
The pandemic is not the stress; it is your response to it that is the stress. Your response is the only thing you have control over, even if it feels like you don't.
In addition, getting deep, restorative rest is a HUGE benefit to immune, physical, emotional and mental health
I simply do not believe that a vaccine or other pharmaceutical intervention alone is enough.
We must also work to change our minds and deeply engrained old habits to stay healthy and well.
We are each unique in our stress reactions and sensitivities based on life experience and traumas large and small, so we each must do the work that we resonate with to find pockets of calm and balance, however small, as often as possible in this chaos.
They add up.
I know this seems hard, even counterintuitive, but it is an imperative for good mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health and well-being.
This is a very rich time, ripe with possibilities for healing old, deep wounds and habits IF we are willing to look deeply into our own fears, past traumas and heart needs.
Only by looking directly at what we fear can we become fearless.
It is just like the monsters under the bed; what you imagine is always worse that what you actually see when you rouse the courage to look.
See what it is like to honor your own rights and needs, while also honoring the rights and needs of those with whom you may disagree. That in itself moves us from divisiveness to inclusion.
It's simple, but not easy.
Practice NOT shaming or blaming (yourself as well as others!)
If you or someone else does, be curious about what need is not being met.
Be willing to notice if being more curious breaks you out of the automatic reactivity that keeps us imprisoned in the cage of fear.
Practice "on the spot compassion"for yourself and others.
Know that everybody wants to be happy and safe...just like you and me.
I am not minimizing the challenging and frightening times we are in. It just seems that there must be a better way to navigate than the way that we currently are. Let yourself see clearly the negative impacts of a fear base mentality.
My offerings here are just a few of many possibilities. I do not proclaim to be an expert. I am just sharing some life lessons that have helped me rein in the fear.
At the very least, I hope it calls you to think of even more!
Maybe you'll just try something new and see for yourself how or if it matters.
Don't believe me...and if you disagree with me, perhaps you can start your practice right there: be curious about what buttons have been pushed rather than blaming the button pusher!
After all, we can only control or change the buttons, not the button pushers😍 Lots of hard lessons here I know...
I offer all these musings gently and kindly, simply wishing that we can all realize that we are in the same family on a planet that is struggling.
If you see what is missing-bring it!!
I'm grateful for your company on this impossible journey💕🙏
There is one Virtual Yoga Nidra offering for August
🌺🌺🌺
August Yoga Nidra
Community Based Yoga Nidra for Razz Yoga
Friday
August 13 at 7pm EST
I'm hoping to resume the monthly donation based yoga nidra in a month or so, depending on interest, so you will have multiple opportunities to join us soon. Remember the power of rest in these tumultuous times. It is NOT insigificant-it is essential❣️
🌺Until then,
Visit my store for full length yoga nidra recordings💕🙏
🌺Individual Guidance Via Zoom🌺
I'd be honored to help you remember the tools that you were born with, to help you heal from whatever has wounded you, to help you find your sacred medicine and share it with this thirsty world.
Using my unique skillset and life experience, I'll help you navigate to your truest most authentic self.
Only you know your true gifts; I am simply offering to help you create space to find them to share with the world
I'd love to support you on your own impossible journey.
If this resonates with you, or you'd like more information about me and my work, please click the button below
🌺Home Study Opportunities🌺
As we continue to be asked to stay slow and cautious before returning to in person work,
I am offering my 2 popular home study classes again and hope you will find them useful! Click the buttons below to learn more and purchase.
I'd be grateful if you would share my work with anyone who is interested or may benefit💕🙏
I also want to remind you that my summit from October 2019 is still available. The premise that we must get to the root of our dis-ease applies now more than ever. Check it out if you are so inclined.
I don't think you will be disappointed. It was an honor to speak with all these thought leaders and visionaries-there is always so much to learn!
Here's the speaker lineup: https://moderndis-ease.com
Click below to order
Take gentle care of yourself then let it spill out into the world.
Do your inner work with curiosity and diligence
Be kind.
Use your words to heal, not harm
LISTEN.
Ask Questions. Be willing to learn
Choose love language and inclusion.
Try to find common ground with fellow humans
Give up attachment to outcome but
never underestimate the power of planting a seed.🌱
Be the change you wish to see
I am grateful to be on this impossible journey with you...let yourself consider that it is not actually impossible after all...
Love
gina💕🙏🌺💚